Happy almost Valentine's Day! In honor of that holiday that a few of us are looking forward to and a lot of us are going to spend drinking vodka straight out of the bottle and watching Bridget Jones's Diary, here's an interview with the author of the Twitter feed Naughty Haiku, the content of which is in no way safe for work but guaranteed to get you twitterpated. Let's see what she has to say...
naughty haiku tweets
nuggets of poetic form
soiled by dirty words
1. Define "sexy."
'Sexy' is that which ignites the libido, fires the sexual imagination and forges new fantasies in the mind. It's what arouses that playful part of you that yearns to tease and to be teased. It's subjective and yet contagious; it makes you, and vicariously those around you, feel sexy.
Sunlight in her hair
Summer dress around her feet
Hot under his gaze
2. What makes haiku a sexy form of poetry?
Much of human sexuality, and kink, revolves around the idea of limitation or restriction in some way, be it movement, control, or one or more of the senses. Picture that special someone (or yourself) blindfolded, or with hands tied.
What? Oh yes, sorry... by removing a sense like sight you remove the distraction it normally offers, encouraging him or her to focus on the way they feel inside. By restricting movement, or control, you also remove the burden of responsibility some people subject themselves to, and which blocks them from really feeling.
The haiku is similarly liberating in its restrictive form. The strict format focuses the author's thoughts onto the image, or sensation, they really want to convey. Haiku is so brief it offers just a taste, a little juicy, bite-size morsel, of something bigger. In a few syllables you try to conjure up as sexy, graphic or exciting an image as you can, but then you have no choice but to hand it to the reader to do the rest of the work; to imagine, flesh out and toy with in their mind. It's the perfect tease.
He pulls forward to kiss me
Restrained by his bonds
3. You were stuck on 666 followers for about two weeks just a little while back... any worries that your Twitter feed had become just a little bit *too* naughty?
I was beginning to take that as a sign, yes. It seemed that every time I got a new follower, someone else unfollowed as though to keep me at that number. I was starting to check my follower list for beasts from the book of Revelation.
I know that the subject matter will put some off, since many people are not anonymous on Twitter, and I suspect that adds to the number of people who read the blog I use as an archive, rather than following me directly. I'm not too worried though. I know that followers enjoy what I write because they say so, and because it's so easy to unfollow me if they don't. In truth, Twitter is such a transitory, quick-flowing format, my individually crafted little poems are quickly swept away in the torrent. To get more followers I'd need to post more frequently but of course, despite the brevity of the form, haiku can be time-consuming to craft. And the subject matter is really very distracting. I've managed about one a day for the last year or so, helped by submissions from loved-ones, friends and talented followers, and I've got a head full of ideas for many Naughty Haiku of the future.
And then the book, and then the sit-com. Or maybe not... Naughty Haiku really *is* a little too naughty for that.
Grabs her from behind
Risk of court action
4. How do you demarcate the line between naughty/passionate/sexy and crude/disgusting/creepy? Any advice for writers?
There's no universal line, and there will always be those who are sensitive or easily offended, especially if you are in sexual territory. Everyone defines those things differently. If anything, 'naughty' or 'kinky' is actually what is just on the other side of your reader's line. I aim to experiment with that line, and surprise people from time to time. Shocking can be sexy, but so can subtle word-play or an unexpected twist. I try to keep it playful.
That which is 'crude' can evoke quite different reactions around the dinner table than in the bedroom; something that might be disgusting in one scenario can be very sexy in another. Context is all, and it's important to set people's expectations. In the case of Naughty Haiku, 'Naughty' is probably an understatement so I hope my warnings are enough to avoid anyone being truly offended. And I fret continually about the time I publish them since the time considered 'after the watershed' (eg when television channels permit swearing) depends on the timezones. But the joy of Twitter, and Haiku, is that posts are so brief that if you don't like one it's quickly forgotten. I try to write from many different perspectives, and with many fantasies in mind, so there will hopefully be something to whet almost every appetite, amongst other things.
Having said all that, one of the most important skills a writer can learn is to trust themselves and just write; writing about what turns them on. Write for your target audience, and never forget that your target audience is you.
In the restaurant
she leans over, whispers filth
he asks for the check
5. What's the most important thing for people to remember this Valentine's Day?
Valentine's Day isn't about the package offered by the local restaurant or corporate attraction, but about reminding someone special what they mean to you. Sometimes it's about reminding yourself how special you are. That means identifying what makes you and your partner smile, and revelling in it. For most people a truly personal gift, or a thoughtful poem (no matter how brief), is much more romantic than the pre-printed message in a Hallmark card or a pre-packaged box of chocolates (not that they don't have a place - yum). Do something you enjoy and be inventive... create something that's uniquely romantic and sexy to you. Make someone's heart flutter!
the perfect present
in the bedroom she waited
gift-wrapped and spread-legged
CLAIRE has been writing tiny, poetic nuggets of filth for over a year now and, helped by friends, loved-ones and talented Twitter followers, has written enough to keep readers, and herself, in a state of perpetual arousal. You can read them for yourself on Twitter and Blogger, but be warned: the format may be playful, but the content is definitely not safe for work.
She's "working" from home
writing some Naughty Haiku
in her underwear
CLAIRE has a surname, and a respectable day-job, and hides the former to preserve the latter. She dreams of one day being a successful published author, and knows that she's going about it very much the wrong way.